Shit happens.
- Taoism: Shit happens
- Confucionism: Confucius says: 'Shit happens'
- Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit
- Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
- Hinduism: This shit has happened before
- Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah
- Protestantism:Let the shit happen to someone else
- Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it
- Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?
- Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening
- Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist
- Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it
- Mysticism:Just experience shit happening
- Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it
- Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens
- Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you
- Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it
- Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist
- Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere
- Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens
- Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen
- Cynicism: Of course shit happens
- Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence
- Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say
- Pollyanism: It's sonice that shit happens!
- Puritanism: Shit can happen all day as long as you don?t call it that
- Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen
- Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault
- Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes
- Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks
- Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it
- Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently
- Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it
- Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody
- Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone
- Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it
- Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit
- Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly
- Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases
- Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms
- Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen
- Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK
- Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening
- Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally
- Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit
- Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to
- Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow
- Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around
- Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when
- Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete quanta called shitons
- Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once
- Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version
- Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity
- Engineering: When shit happens, paint over
- Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning
- Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it
- Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it
- Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen
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